bluebells - Portrait Photographer Bedford-

 I used to live in a beautiful place in Harpenden, where once a year in a forest near by, the bluebells would show up creating a mantel of blue. Funnily enough for the first 4 years I never saw them! Once I discovered them, I would go up every year and take some photos of the beautiful view.

We live a bit far from there now, but we found a gorgeous place near home covered with lovely bluebells, the pathways, the colours, everything seems utterly from a magical world.
The first time we went to check them up, it was a super windy day and I took only a few photos as we looked around.

On the 13 of May, it was my husbands birthday, and he wanted to go back as well as me to take more photos! The day was cloudy, raining as well as windy! But, we managed a few photos.

Marc loves the nature, loves to walk with Lemmy and they play so well, imagining they are chasing dragons, looking for treasures and so on. Into the wild. Lainey loves to be out and about, she likes to touch and feel the flowers, she observes her every surounding and tries to lick the wind.

There's something about nature that refreshes your being, your soul. Seeing what has been made brings us into a real connection with the maker.

Good times!

    She did not stop chatting away!!

      My cheeky piglet!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband!!!!!

 About to head home before we get all wet,  Marc took a few photos of me with my girl by the car park.

My 4 year old

I tend to procrastinate for many reasons. When it comes to writing, I always end up with so much that then, it takes me longer to post anything. There's a few drafts waiting…so, for the moment I thought I would share some photos I took the other day.

I don't remember when was the day that suddenly my boy started to cover his face for photographs, running away from the camera or being super silly. He used to love it, he used to ask me : I made a tower, take a photo mummy, I made a poo, take a photo mummy and I did! Sometimes he still asks me to take photos of an angry bird, another bigger tower, a drawing... but not so much with him in it :(. I do love natural photos of daily things that I want to remember, only now and then I have a few more formal ones, but I do tend to love the sponteneous ones better, they carry so much emotion, so much life.
Since Lainey was born, I had a new model to go crazy with photos without holding back, without a hand in front of the face! So, guess what?  I started to hear : mummy, can I be in the photo? can you take a photo of me now? and so I did! Those moments don't usually last more than a few minutes, so I need to make the most of it!

My wonderful sweet 4 year old boy, almost 5! I adore you every day more and more. You surprise me daily. Now, we can sit and talk, you have so many questions, you are searching, learning new things, wanting to grow. In the mist of all the questions about Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, there's so many things we don't have yet the answers for, and so we say I don't know, then you said as a matter of fact : God is the biggest mistery of it all. And there you have your answer. You are full of jumping beans inside of you! SO much energy all day long! You get excited for so many things, small and big. Today you were jumping up and down because mummy made you an ice cream ( frozen bananas, a bit of milk and a pintch of cinammon) mmm this is soo delicious!! Mummy, this is the best ice cream ever! wow, I can eat it for ever and ever, I can't stop making the sounds mmm mmm mmm…it's impossible tasty..and so on and on!
It made me so happy to see him soo happy. He is so thankful for everything. He is quick to forgive, quick to extend grace, quick to say : Don't worry mummy, it was an accident ( if I drop something in the floor and I got a bit upset ) He enjoys life, he lives it to the full. He is so thoughtful, he picks flowers on the way to the park for me, he says things like : if that flower was turquise (my fav colour) then I will give it to you mummy. He loves to be silly and make silly jokes. He adores and looks after his baby sister like no one I ever known! It's almost as if he has the best of Marc and the best of me….yes, ok, nobody is perfect but this entry it's all about him. My first son, who came into my life as a beautiful gift from above and I treasure him daily. I could write and write so much about him, so many things I don't ever want to forget, the days pass and I realise that I already forgot the clever comment he made the other day or the amazing words he spoke about me. Yes, I forget, and I don't carry a note book around the house, maybe I should?!

Ok, Here is Lemmy. 2nd of May being himself!

Leilani at 24 weeks

20 of April 2013

A few things I wrote about Lainey the past week when she was 24 weeks old! ( she is 25, going on 26 now!)

Two days ago Lainey started to shake her head from side to side ( no no no ) it's the cutest thing!

She started to sit for longer periods of time. She loves to sit, stand up and be held lots! 

If I go away from her presence, she follows me with her eyes and starts calling me right away, fussing or crying. She wants to be with me pretty much all the time! She is such a mummy's girl! 

She is starting to get frustrated if she can't get something from a table ..etc! What a character! She wants the camera, video, phone…you name it! 

She still wakes up every 2 hours to eat! Sometimes every 1 hour and a half!  ( for the past month)

One day she slept two streches of 5 hours each. Yesterday she did 2 streches of 3 hours, one of 2 hours and 40 minutes and one of 2! Improving!? I guess I should have slept more when she was doing 8 hours or more! 

Though it is tiring, I have to say that I remember it felt harder when I was nursing Lemmy at times, as he used to eat for so long…he had a rough patch of sleeping about the same time as Lainey. I wonder why? Lainey eats for less than 6 minutes and as I lie her down, she keeps on sleeping :)

She is so fun, she loves to laugh and giggle! She is a very sensitive soul. If I had a bit of an argument with Marc or I was upset cause my mum left, she senses and cries too… :(

I love you so much Lainey! She has been having a hard time to fall asleep in the night, She is crying every time I put her down, even though I'm with her all the time and she is comfy in our bed! We are trying to help her in any way we can, singing, holding her, burping her, talking…stroking her head and hands…today she went down easier. We try to keep her routine, though just pushed her bed time a bit later as she has been enjoying more play time now that she is a bit older.She went down at 7:20pm today and she is out. Today was good.

For naps, she only falls asleep on our arms with music on, the curtains shut,less light. We try to put her down in her chair…but only lasts less than 20 minutes! 

Still loves and can fall asleep in the car seat, sling and buggy.

Love her so much! My little princess!! I enjoy dressing her up with pretty dresses, with pink, head bands and tights. She is a delight! She is always smiling and gets super excited with the slightest attention. 

I have been taking tons of pictures of her since the day she has born. Hopefully shared more of the oldies and new ones here! Every week I do one on her cot to see the difference at the end of the year, every 4 weeks I put her in a chair alone, and with her bunny, also to compare later on…I'm trying to take lots and lots as I please, and she ADORES the camera! She instantly starts to kick her legs, laughs and smiles…Here I want to share some photos of her 24th week of being with us! 

Leilani Valentina Sol James, you are truly our heavenly flower. 

With big brother Lemmy, they both adore each other to the max!

As you can see, Lainey still dislikes to be on her tummy, she lasts only seconds! Here they are watching daddy, and Lemmy is sharing sweet talk with her.

Snuggles in the middle of the night.

13th of December

My beautiful sweet boy started with a cough a few days ago, follow by a runny nose and then a fever. The cough got worse by day 3, and the fever would come and go. I have never in his short little life seen him so bad. Droopy and drowsy. The first 2 days with the cough he was still himself, but day 3 and 4 were the worst. He could hardly leave the couch. We watched lots of Cars, Toy story 2 and Cars again and Toy Story 2 again and again. He wanted to snuggle, sometimes he would say bye bye Cars and try to fall sleep in my arms while snuggling a bit closer. It was so sad. At one moment I got so scared  I couldn't help but cry. He looked at me with his droopy eyes and asked me: mummy, are you ok mummy? Oh, my sweet love. More concerned about how I was doing than himself. Of course! At this age, mum and dad are his world! It was hard to pull myself together but I had to, at least until daddy got home.
Since the nasty cough or the sweats from the fever made Lemmy wake up many times in the night, we let him stay in our bed. Meaning, he shared the big bed with daddy and I crashed in his bed so we can all have more sleep that way. The first few days he was in such a state that as soon he squeaked I was in the room in a second ( our flat is that small) to snuggle him, dry the sweats, give him water and stay until he fell back to sleep. By day 5 he seemed much chirpier, he actually felt like leaving the couch to play, paint, jump a bit and finally eat some food. His coughs got fewer in the day and the fever disappear. Yesterday, he was sleep by 7pm and a few minutes later he woke up again, to find him sweaty and thirsty. Fell sleep. A few minutes later he woke up again, very upset. I went quickly, and after checking everything was ok, he snuggle and fell back to sleep. When I tried to leave he kept moving his arm in the air ( eyes closed) trying to find me, reaching for me and then began to cry when he was realising I was about to leave. I stayed a little bit longer but by the 3rd time he was "asleep" and try to grab me when I was leaving I got a bit annoyed and left anyway. He began to call me and cry. This time I didn't rush right away. I drank some water quickly, washed my hands, and a few seconds later I came into the room and try to explain Lemmy that I wouldn't stay all night by his side ( that was daddy's job- which by the way he does sleep while I can't- ;) I would stay only a little but until he fells sleep. He got more upset! He understands.
While I was laying by his side, letting him play with my thumbs and fiddling with my pinky ( I admit I like when he does that) my mind started to wonder and think.
First I was thinking how nice these snuggle times are. How sweet he is when he is so peacefully half asleep by my side. How warm, how gentle, how soft and lovely this moments are. Then, I started to think about how it must feel to be in his shoes, especially when I took those extra seconds. If I was a 2 year old, who was in pain while coughing, woken up thirsty and started to call my mummy and she wouldn't come ( A few seconds in a 2 year old is not the same amount of time for us, adults) How would that make me feel?? I thought to myself, I would feel unheard, lonely, rejected, my mummy who always meets my needs so quickly in the day time, why is she taking so long now? It didn't feel good to think myself in his shoes. Actually, it would apply even if he is not ill. How many times an adult wakes up because suddenly is thirsty? or had a bad dream? and the list can go on...that's how they comunicate to us. Even though it was only a few seconds for me, it was longer for him, and I could see it in his eyes and cry. Lemmy now understands the word sorry and he quickly stopped crying and snuggles back. He pads me on the back. Then I thought what kind of father my God is. He never ever leaves my side. In fact, he reaches out to me out before I know I need him. He is constant, he is present, he never leaves me alone to suffer, he never shows up late. Sometimes he may remain silent but his love surrounds and comforts. We are the ones who sometimes don't feel God's presence or think he is far away, when in fact he never left.
Of course I'm not omniscient like God, though I wish I was sometimes! ha! But Im his child and I crave to be a little bit like him each day. And to be honest, to be near my son and comfort him is not a sacrifice,  I love doing it. It is harder for me to do that when I have an agenda but when I let go of the earthly things then I realise what is of real importance now.
I mean, life is already full of cruelty, injustice, illnesses, unfairness, meanness...why would we want to add a bit more unnecessary pain into it?

" what children really need is to be secure and self-confident, and that comes from being loved and well cared for."
"children gain an inner strength from being loved and nurtured, having their needs met, knowing they are loved no matter what." Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen.



 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

My friend  Leslie's insights are worth checking out! The Playful Parenting book is plain amazing, most is common sense.It resounds in my gut and heart.

My sweet Lemmy at 10 days old.